g33klady

A month after being laid off

by Hilary

It’s been a month since I was laid off from my dream job at Xbox. This is the first time since I was 13 that I’ve been unemployed! As might be expected, there has been a mix of emotions.

Grief – from all the work it took to get to my dream being lost, from losing out on the future I had imagined for myself at Xbox.

Anger – for having this taken away from me despite my excellent performance record, for having to go through this resume update/applications/interview processes when I wasn’t ready to.

Fear – with the landscape now, will I even be able to get a job quickly enough so as to not have to deplete my savings, let alone something that’s interesting or exciting? Will I have to settle for something I don’t want, and keep applying and interviewing?

Anxiety – every email notification *ding*, every time the LinkedIn app sound goes off, I’m anxious about what I might find – another rejection? An opportunity? An exciting opportunity that wants me to relocate and be paid way under my expectations for that region’s cost of living?

Frustration – the terrible job application websites where you upload your resume and then re-enter the same information (one job did it right – upload the resume, add a cover letter if you want, and submit!), buggy interfaces, creating a gazillion Workday accounts, and people asking me how I’m enjoying my vacation!

Insecurity – having to prove my worth over and over again, and being rejected repeatedly, really drags on my self-esteem!

I’m thankful for my amazing network (professional and personal) that has helped me to process these feelings, be sounding boards, provide feedback on my resume/website updates, and in general just be there for me when I need them. A person couldn’t ask for better support!

This jobs landscape is kinda brutal – just over 2 weeks into submitting resumes and applying, I’ve gotten a few auto-rejections but mostly no response. From what I’m reading/seeing, it’s very normal to be ghosted by recruiters or applying to job listings that don’t really exist anymore. I know some places are super slow (I’ve interviewed with Microsoft, I know how slow things can go!). I appreciate my professional network for helping me get my foot in the door to a few places – it’s not totally bleak over here!

While this isn’t a vacation by any means, I’m trying to relax as best I can when I’m not actively searching for or applying to jobs or cleaning up my home office. I’ve been crocheting, building Lego, and in general just trying not to be so damn anxious. I try to step away from the job search completely on weekends, and that’s been the hardest anxiety-wise – feeling like being idle could cost me a good job prospect. But if people are working weekends trying to get a job filled, do I really want to work there? Food for thought 😉

Back to the job hunt – those Lego sets are expensive!